You would hold me right about now. With a kiss my life begins. You would touch me and tell me about the trees outside the window, how much you like them. I swallow and it hurts. Its stuck inside at the back of my throat and I am helpless to it, I've forgotten myself. Where have I gone. It's like it never happened. I was never a part of you. 5 months, 6 days, 7 hours, 39 minutes and 3 seconds. I'm dizzy and confused. If I created this in my mind and in my body then I can make it go away through mind and body. The ships that crash in the night, no body sees them. No one can hear them. The moon is bright and it shines down through the glass of my bedroom window. That makes me think of our window. I cry myself to sleep. I want to stop dreaming. To stop the clocks. To stop the world from spinning. I'm spinning and the ocean is calling me. I can hear it in the distance, and for what, just to hear those three words. Go fuck yourself. No, they are not the words that I was suppose to say nor did i expect them to fall out of my mouth. I wonder how many girls you've fucked now. Did they all have long brown hair and beautiful hazy green eyes. I gave him nothing in return and now the palm of hands are bleeding. I eat red onions like ruby red apples.